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This thing that I am doing is weird.

17 March 201311:37AMmeta

Every time someone says to me 'I read your blog' a tiny part of me cringes. I don't think that I'm embarrassed by anything I put up here. At least, not in that creative sense of 'oh god people are reading my stuff it's so bad they're gonna judge meeee'. It's not that. Because seriously, what kind of moron puts something online and wants nobody to read it?

It's more a social cringe. Like a reminder that despite the democratisation of the blah blah blah, having a blog is still... kinda weird. And as a human, there is quite a lot of wired-in pressure to not be weird. And being reminded to your face that this thing you are doing is weird is... weird.

In fact, I reckon between Facebook and Twitter and Tumblr, blogs are actually getting more weird, not less. Like, if I posted the kind of stuff I put here as an intermittent stream of long-ish Facebook statuses, that would not be so weird. Very annoying probably, but not capital-W Weird. People might even comment on stuff instead of lurking and never replying even when I explicitly ask questions. And I know you do lurk. All of you. I can see it in my server logs. Lurkers everywhere.

Maybe blogging- actually wait, can we address one thing first? 'Blog' is a bloody horrible word. It sounds like some kind of especially thick gruel served in prison hospitals. Seriously, I actually prefer blag, despite its implications.

Maybe blagging just isn't a good way to communicate any more? Maybe the future is all chronic inane oversharing on Facebook, or illegal street surgery style sliced into 140 character segments on Twitter. Or constant politically correct pretentious memetic regurgitation on Tumblr. Don't even get me started on Tumblr.

Which sucks, because I like doing this. Writing things down is a good way to work out what I think about them.

Actually its just a good way to think about things in general. I like the idea that I can look back on it and have a record of how I thought. And also its a good excuse for me to do stuff I wouldnt be motivated to do otherwise. It sounds wanky, but I guess I also enjoy the process of writing, or at least of... making... something?

And, exposing them to the public is like accountability. They have to be well reasoned and well written. I cant just show people crazed scribblings and scream LOOK AT MY CRAZED SCRIBBLINGS GUYS. Cause that would be even weirder.

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