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Letters that are also words

08 July 201211:52AMfictionlinguistics

I just saw the phrase OICU812 on the Minecraft splash page, and it got me thinking: how many letters are words as well? And how long a sentence, if any, can you make out of them? Here's what I got.

Verbs
B - 'be'
C - 'see'
Q - 'queue'
R - 'are'

Nouns
B - 'bee'
C - 'sea'
I - 'I'
J - 'jay' (like the bird)
P - 'pea'
Q - 'queue'
T - 'tea', 'tee'
U - 'you'
X - 'ex' (colloquial, but stull)

Other stuff
A - the indefinite article
O - 'oh' (exclamation)
Y - interrogative

And if you include numbers you get a little more variety:

1 - indefinite article
2 - 'to', 'too'
4 - 'for'
8 - 'ate'

There's enough there to build a sentence. Albeit a nonsensical one. And you have to make some... stylistic concessions. Like, you have very little to work with in the way of articles. And there are no conjunctions, so you have to use commas and embedded clauses. On the bright side though, there are rather a lot of rhyming letters which gives anything you write an almost Seussian feel. Altogether an interesting challenge.

So without further ado, I present:

A Letter To My Ex: A Dramatic Monologue.

O U X U! B U A J? I C U 8 T, I C U Q 2 C A P. O Y O Y - Y Q 2 C 1 P? 4 2 Q U 8 3.

"O! You ex, you! Be you a jay? I see you ate tea, I see you queue to see a pea. O why, o why - why queue to see one pea? For to queue, you ate three!"

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