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A quick tour of the inside of my head.

08 June 201107:37AMlife

Yesterday I watched- Oh wow, my hands are cold. Can't type. Hold on.

sticks hands under hot tap

So yeah. Yesterday I watched five episodes of Glee in a row. I don't know if you've ever watched Glee, let alone five episodes, but let's just say the experience was... Gruelling. Yeah. Actually to be totally honest it was like repeatedly banging my head against a wall. An extremely abrasive, campy, musically-challenged wall. I am not doing this by choice, of course. I'm doing it because it's required viewing for my questionably relevant English unit at uni, and instead of watching them over the course of a couple of days when we were doing it in tutes, I decided that I really really didn't want to watch Glee, and now it's a week before exams and I haven't watched them and so I have to put my brain through a blender, and I thought, hey, maybe it's like ripping off a band-aid and its tolerable if you do it really fast all at once, but it turns out that is not the case, and if I was saying this out loud I'd really need to take a breath right now cause that is a looooong sentence.

Thus, in an attempt to fault-check my brain and make sure that such a concentrated dose of suck hasn't permanently crippled me in some way, I'm going to do a guided tour of the contents of my brain. It's something I've been meaning to do for a while- actually about since when I realised that I could quote almost the entirety of Shrek off by heart. So here we go: a guided tour around the tottering foundations of my psyche.

Shrek As I said, I literally know all the words to this. I suspect it probably came out right about the time I was starting to watch movies on my own, and thus etched itself indelibly on the deep structures of my brain. The fact that it was the movie of choice at countless primary school sleepovers probably didn't hurt either. Chicken Run is a bit the same, only a bit less so, except that Chicken run is probably the last one I really watched with my parents (or at least that's my theory) since it's seemingly the only movie reference I can make which they'll both get.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman I first picked this up in a bookshop before some ill-fated camping trip, mostly because it had Terry Pratchett and... some other guy. The other guy later became one of my favourite authors, alongside Pratchett, and this book is still probably my favourite one. It also holds the esteemed position of being the only book I successfully recommended to my Year 11 Lit teacher, and he enjoyed it, so... yeah. A little bit proud of that.

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson This book was a present from Matt when he came back from holiday one time. I remember when reading it the first time through having two distinct impressions: One, that golly, did it have a lot of swearing in it, and B, that it was really freaking cool. I've since got over the swearing. But not the coolness. It also gave me one of my favourite fiction tricks (which I like a lot, and creative writing teachers seem to like a lot too) of writing in the present tense. It makes everything seem punchy and cool. Mmmm, punch.

The Wizard's Apprentice Series This one probably needs a bit more of an explanation. At primary school, we used to get these 'book club' catalogs, from which one could mail-order books... and things. This series had one book every issue, and while I only ever collected four of them, they were some of my favourite books. Also, having recently read The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man's Fear, both by Patrick Rothfuss, I realised that these (much later) books have essentially the same setting and protagonist (and much the same plot) as the older ones (which were pretty damn obscure, and much worse written). I should write that up properly, actually. The coincidence is astounding.

Deltora Quest & A Series of Unfortunate Events These two go together, not really because of their content, but rather because they formed my model of how to read books, which was to request one from each series for my birthday and Christmas every year. Since these two are close to each other, and have a large time between them, this taught me to read all my books at once and then await the next one, for up to a year, with astonishing patience. I still do this. Especially with TV series. Whole season in one night and then wait six months before downloading the next one. Is that weird?

Halo We got an Xbox in about 2003-ish, and this is both the first shooter I played and the only legitimate game we ever bought for that Xbox. Also, I never ever played it single player. It was either co-op campaign, or 4-player split- screen madness, inventing elaborate competitions involving infinite grenades and Warthog ramming. Ah, those were the days.

Majesty & Conquest:Frontier Wars These two PC games come together as well. Mostly because I thought they were amazing, and between my brother and I they are absolutely legendary, but apparently nobody else has ever heard of them. Go figure. Also, they both ran without the disk, which made pre-Steam-era computer switching and LANs much easier, but probably sent the companies bankrupt since all my friends have these games, but have never ever bought them. Oops.

Age of Empires II This was the first computer game I ever owned for myself. I was having dreams about little pixellated mans running around with red/green healthbars for months, and spent all the time I wasn't playing thinking up "strategies" involving hiding monks behind catapults behind palisades inside towers. Given that these strategies never worked, the fact that my victories were usually dependant on cheat codes was unsurprisng. I had this one game which I'd had running for about six months solid. I can still remember the layout of my city. Now that's scary.

Homestar Runner HomestarRunner.net ("It's dot com!") is really the only internet... thingy... which I ever really got behind. Penny Arcade, The Order of the Stick and xkcd, all of which I've read in their entirety, came much too late to be ingrained in my fledgeling sense of humour. Meanwhile, the 50% of my friends who were not in my year 8 class and thus had no exposure to this site at all still find a lot of my inside jokes baffling. (But seriously guys, watch it. Everything will make so much more sense afterwards)

Well, I think that's it. That little trip down memory lane has pretty much expunged the Glee from my mind, and verified that my personality remains intact, as much as it was ever intact to start with. Next time, we'll go inside my digestive tract, and tell you which is my favourite molecule of food I've ever eaten. Until then, goodbye!

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